Can't Become A Butterfly
by AzureLies
Summary: For those three months she was closer to him than she had been in years. But Sasuke never came until that day, when she was sure she had lost all hope. Even then, Sakura finds it's too late to fly when her wings have been clipped. [SasuxSaku]
1. Saved?

Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto. Original five chapters by** won't be the Victim**

**BEATEN**

* * *

My ragged breathing filled the silence of the small cold room as I stood head down, to watch the fresh blood trickling down my arm pool on the floor by my side in a spreading stain. A rush of dizziness made me pitch dangerously to one side but I caught myself at the last moment and staggered backwards, slamming my back into the wall. I let out a short choked scream as the pain racks my senses and races through my body. Slowly, I slid down the wall and sat heavily on the hard floor.

Shit, that hurt. Everything fucking hurt. My body was pulsing, still feeling the blows that no longer pounded into me.

I rested my head on the wall behind me and let the cold of the cement calm my raging headache. A shiver went all the way up my spine, jarring my body. Ow. Shit. Shifting, I tried to find a more comfortable section of wall but end up gasping as my broken ribs cry bloody murder at the sudden movement. A few hot tears escaped, stinging the hell out of the bloody scrapes on my cheeks. I lifted my hand, which takes a lot more work then it should, and scrubbed them away. Of course, this only succeeded in smearing blood in my eyes and down my cheek. I let my hand drop back to the floor to splash in the pool of blood it had been sitting in. Only a minor miracle kept me from collapsing to the floor with it. I sat up straighter, hissing in pain.

Trying to distract myself, I looked around the small room I'm prisoner in. It was pretty typical. That is, if hell could be typical. The room was standard size, brightly lit by florescent track lighting (the kind you find in office buildings) with four dark gray walls and a metal door painted to match the wall so that it was hard to tell it's there when it was closed.  
If not for the blood, it would be a totally gray room. But there are patches of blood everywhere, even the ceiling. It makes the room smell like old copper all the time. I never knew blood could be different colors depending on how old it was.

My eyes wander to the far left wall and pick out a dark brown patch in the middle. That would be the oldest blood patch. At least, I think it is. It's the darkest so it should be the oldest. See, that patch over there is from last week and it's much brighter; Kind of a brick red color.

Or was it a few days ago? I don't remember. That goon with the big ass sword sliced my back and I fell on the wall creating that patch. Right? No one answers my unspoken question and I close my eyes. I still see the varying shades of red behind my eyelids. I sigh and shift again. My breath hitch and I nearly sob as fresh pain shoots down my spine and spreads through my chest.

I can't take much more of this. How long had this been going on; a few weeks maybe? It feels like months. Days and days of beatings by Sound assholes. Little food or sleep. Absolutely no idea of why any of this is happening to me. I can scream and plead all I want but no one answers me. So I finally just lost the will to speak, it only makes things worse. Everyday is the same routine. I'm roused from a fitful sleep by a Kabuto or another and beaten by him and his buddies in various ways for an unspecified length of time. Then at some point after that, I'm given some unrecognizable soup like substance by another silent guard, while Orochimaru asks if I will heal his arms.

This shit is going to kill me. I can feel it. Everyday I get weaker and weaker. I'm barely able to fight back anymore. Sometimes I think it would be so nice to give up. Simply give up and beg for them to kill me and get it over with.

A part of me rebels instantly at that thought. I have way too much pride to let them know just how little strength I have left. Too damn stubborn to give up.

But, I'm so tired. I can barely breathe without constant pain. I heave a purely internal sigh and try to distract myself again. This time with images of the surprise on that stupid Snake's face as I snatched the kunai from his hand and stabbed him with it.

Jerked out of my revelry by the sound of scraping coming from the door in front of me, I felt my heart stop in my chest. No! They just left; they can't be coming back this soon. I close my eyes and groan. I try to find even a grain of strength so I can meet them standing as I always do. Panic flares when my legs won't obey me; or any other part of my body for that matter. As quickly as the panic flares, it dies, leaving behind a numb hopelessness that shocks me.

_This must be it_, I think dejectedly as INNER Sakura is screaming at me to stop feeling so damn helpless. I listen to the metallic click of the key tripping the lock to the door of my hell. Taking a deep breath, ignoring the stabbing pain it brought, I will myself to sit still and at least not cringe away since I couldn't stand.

Maybe they'll just put a katana to my throat and be done with it.

Yeah, and maybe Sasuke will swoop in and save me.

I feel fresh air swirl against my skin as the door opens silently and I stiffen. Still not opening my eyes, I wait to hear the heavy stomping of sound scum making their way in my direction. Instead I hear the clicking heels of one set of footsteps. Soon I feel the air currents push against me as if someone is very close. A sharp scrape sounds, echoing through the room and I feel it vibrate through the floor. There, the sound of cloth on cloth and a sharp click. Then all was silent again. The only sound now is my own harsh breathing and frantic heartbeat.

Well, this is different. Normally the bastards just rampage in and beat the shit out of me. Cracking an eye open, I focus blurrily on a man sitting not two feet in front of me. Part of me absently wonders if he realizes that he's getting his clothing bloody.

"Alive are we? Good, it would upset my schedule if you died at this time."

My other eye shot open in shock at the sound of the man's soft deep voice. This is the first time Orochimaru has come in after me being "persuaded" as he put it. I stare at the man, with as much hate as I can muster. I can't believe what I am seeing this can't be. Orochimaru is standing there but it's not Orochimaru, its Naruto.

No.

NO! It is NOT Naruto! It can't be. I stare harder and there it is it's a _genjustu_. Good, Naruto is still safe back in Konoha. He's bigger than me but it's not that hard to be. He blond spiky hair is still the same but he is mature. But it's his eyes that gave him away; Naruto would never look at anyone that way. I realize I've been staring at him just as he began to talk again.

"Are you studying me? You don't have to answer; I can see it in those lovely Green eyes of yours, Sakura-chan." He smiles and chuckles at me.

I tense as he leans forward and lifts his katana off the ground. Smiling a tad wider, he pokes me in the ribs with the end of it until I gasp in pain.

"So that hurt, did it? Did someone hurt the poor weak cherry blossom? Is it a wonder why me and Sasuke left? Your always were pathetic. Oh well, nothing we can do about that, eh, Sakura-chan? So where dose it hurt – the ribs maybe?" He gave me a curious expression and sounded genuinely concerned.

He's such a bad liar.

I wasn't answering fast enough apparently, because he raised his katana, specks of blood now decorating the end like some macabre decoration, in preparation to poke a response out of me.

"Y-yes." I croak, my voice long gone from the screaming and misuse. I wince at the harshness of it. Arms wrapped protectively around my middle, I found that grain of strength I'd been searching for and sat up a little. I drag my legs until they are crossed in front of me and sit there panting from the effort. The man who is supposed to be Naruto laughs and retracts the katana, settling it back in front of him and placing his hands on top of it.

"It's alive, it's alive!" He crows, eyes shining in amusement. I tense again, feeling what blood is left leave my face. All of a sudden, the amusement drains out of his eyes and the look he gives me leaves me cold.

"Do I frighten you? Good. I am a very scary man and you would do well to remember that," Naruto says as he changes into Orochimaru.

Somehow I get the feeling that this man would never even blink at killing me. Oh no, he'd rip out my heart and go out for a ramen afterwards.

"Now, you said that something was broken by my men. And by the way you're sitting I'll assume it's your ribs. Do you know which of my men it was?" He asked.

After a few tries I finally croaked out a yes. I didn't want to be poked by the katana again. I know exactly who'd broken my ribs. The man with the black rose tattooed on his temple. At the time, I remember wondering why on earth anyone would put that on his face, but then I remembered Gaara, as he applied the bat he'd been holding to my unprotected middle. The resounding crack and flare of pain told me that something was desperately wrong this time.

The man left me without another question. The door closed and once again I heard footsteps coming close to, me wrenched out of the past and back to the present. I shook my head to try and clear it but my vision swam and blackness began to eat at the corners of reality. Why is the floor getting so close? Dimly, I hear the footsteps stop and a small gasp before falling over with a crash. Right before I hit the floor, strong arms catch me and hold me as I pass out. At least I didn't hurt anymore.


	2. Mission

Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto. Original five chapters by** won't be the Victim**

A/N – This entire chapter is a flashback.

**Chapter 2**

_

* * *

_

The rain kept pouring though the blinds causing the sixteen year old girl to wake from her peaceful slumber. Sakura Haruno had been under Tsunade's wing for 4 years now as a medic ninja, and during that time had surpassed the Godaime in medical abilities and strength. It was quite a feat to do at such a young age but with her chakra control she was able to easily advance in the medical field.

She rubbed her eyes and sat up to look at the old team 7 photo on her bedside table. Sakura picked it up and sighed before placing it gently back down, but stayed there for a few more minutes, just staring at the picture. _I wonder how Sasuke is_…

_**Come on I thought you were over the teme!**_To Inner Sakura, Sasuke was taboo. And how it gave her a headache to discuss these matters with her inner…

_I am but he's still my friend. What do you want anyway?_ Her eyes darted to the mirror and she glared at the jade orbs in the reflection.

_**Is that any way to talk to yourself**_

_Oh leave me alone_!

_**Fine have piece for now**_

The rosette stood up and walked to her wardrobe, grabbing her usual black skirt, baby blue top, and fishnet pull over. After changing she slips on her black leaf headband and kunai pouch. She looked at herself in the mirror, satisfied with her appearance. She smoothed down her hair, sighing as a finger traveled down the long bangs, which fall past her shoulders. She was going to have to cut it soon.

Sakura walks to the door and grabs her black umbrella and steps outside into the light drizzle that is soon becoming a downpour. Walking along the pathway towards the hospital, she began to succumb to her thoughts.

It had been 5 years since Sasuke had left the village and Sakura had felt like a piece of her was missing. It hurt, but she always pushed that feeling away and chalked it up as "friendly concern". She sighed and bowed her head and continued her way to work.

"Haruno-san?" a voice called from behind the teen.

She looked up. "Anub-san?"

"Hoakage-sama wishes to see you."

"Alright, thank you." She bowed her head a little to see him disappear with a POP from under her bangs. Bringing her head back up, Sakura frowned. _Great! Now what dose she want?_ She decided not to keep her sensei waiting and quickly ran off towards Tsunade's office.

Sakura arrived at the Hokage tower and folded her umbrella at the door, leaving it in the bucket by the door. She knocked on Tsunade's office door. There was a shuffle before a muffled, "Come in" served as her reply.

Sakura opened the door and walked in to find stacks and stacks of papers piled high on her shishou's desk. The only indication that Tsunade was there were the hiccups coming from behind the stacks of reproduced trees.

"Sh-shishou," she said with a very large sweat drop. "You wanted to see me?"

Tsunade peeked up and over the mounds of paper work and smiled cheerily. "Oh, hi Sakura! Yes I have a mission for you!" She said it with such enthusiasm.

_**Yep she's drunk,**_ Inner Sakura says with a large sweat drop growing by the second at the sight of the Hokage smiling creepily over a stack of papers.

Sakura looked at her mentor, confused. "A mission, really?" Inner Sakura let out a snort, _**Better not be paperwork again**_. Sakura kept a steady face. Last time Tsunade had given her a mission, it was to do all the paperwork that was cluttering the Godaime's desk.

Tsunade smiled and nodded. "That's right." Seeing Sakura's face, she got down to business. "Sakura, your mission is to go to Mist and retrieve a scroll from a man named Kenji Yamato. This is an A-class solo mission, and you have 3 days to complete it. The mission starts tomorrow morning, so be prepared. I'll meet you at the gate at 9 o'clock. Understand?"

Sakura frowned. "But why is it an A-class mission for just a scroll?"

"The scroll is a forbidden scroll that Orochimaru wants. We don't think any sound ninjas know of the scroll yet so it should be simple, but you may need to fight…"

"Don't worry Tsunade. " Sakura said with a smile to reassure her shishou. Tsunade frowned, stood up, and put a hand on her star pupils shoulder. The other hand held a scroll, which the Godaime placed in Sakura's hands.

"Sakura, if the odds are against you, do not hesitate to kill any of them…" she murmured. Sakura looked at Tsunade, somewhat shocked. "…That's an order," the Godaime added before dismissing Sakura with a wave of her hand. Sitting back down, she grimaced. "One more thing."

"Yes?"

"Don't take too long. You've got paperwork to do when you come back," Tsunade told her with a grin. Sakura suppressed a sigh as she nodded and headed out the door.

She said goodbye to Shizune as she passed the woman, then grabbed her umbrella and headed outside. Head bowed down, Sakura kept her pace slow, staring at the muddy ground. The rosette stopped and looked up, turning her head to the side and gravitating towards the lone, unoccupied bench outside the academy. She sat down, placing her head in her hands, massaging her temples as her brows furrowed.

_Something doesn't feel right about this mission_…

A howling wind blew past her, knocking the umbrella from her hand and sending it sailing through the air. Sakura watched the yellow umbrella fly, following its path until her eyes found the cherry blossoms above her, falling to the ground, heavy and wet with rain. The entire tree seemed to dance to an unheard melody created by the wind and rain. Sakura's hands fell into her lap as she watched the spectacle and ignored all else.

* * *

She woke up at 7:30 as was her usual routine – brush her teeth, a bath, getting ready for the mission. She packed what she needed; flashlight, bandages, medical scrolls, kunai, a few shuriken, food, water, clothing, and other necessities.

Sakura had finished packing, she realized, as she dashed around her apartment to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything. Quickly, she stopped in front of the small altar in her room and clapped once, head bowed, eyes shut. _I'll be off, Kaa-san, Tou-san_.

_Beep, beep, beep_ –

A hand slammed down on the alarm. Sakura rose to her feet, smiling down at the pictures of her parents. "I'm off," she breathed. The medic ninja grabbed her pack and a peach, then headed out to the village gate to meet Tsunade.

Her shishou stood there, eyes focused silently on the large arch that stood above the gate. Sakura kept silent, walking up beside Tsunade and following the woman's eyes.

"Good luck, Sakura."

The girl nodded and dashed off with a quick goodbye.

* * *

The rosette was just outside Mist; the guards were checking her papers. With everything confirmed, Sakura quickly found her way to 'Moonlit Tavern,' were she was supposed to meet Kenji Yamato.

She found him sitting in the darker part of the bar. A good-looking man, 5'9, with shaggy brown hair that hung just a little shorter than her own hair. He had chocolate brown eyes and wore a gray top and long white shorts. On the table was a white rose, as the mission briefing had said there would be.

She neared him to discover a few empty cups of sake. "I don't drink," she said quickly, taking a seat and nodding her head at him. "Do you have the doll…?"

He was sweating profusely under the dim light. His breath was rushed. "I see," he gasped, drawing out a small case. "Here's the doll your mother requested. I hope your baby sister enjoys it."

Sakura offered him a smile, wishing he didn't look so nervous. "I'm sure she will."

She was on her way back to Konoha, scroll safely secured in her pack. She had traveled faster than she expected herself to; she had over a day left. Sakura let out a heavy sigh and sat down to take a break. Her stomach was growling for food.

Once she finished her snack, Sakura looked around hesitantly. She had just noticed it; the air was heavy with a sense of foreboding. If this was what Kenji Yamato had been feeling, she couldn't blame him for being nervous. Sakura picked herself up, a kunai in one hand as she walked past the tall trees.

_**We're lucky we haven't run into any Sound ninjas yet**_, Inner Sakura commented, sounding relieved. Cue a rustling bush.

Sakura jumped back behind a tree, grabbing another kunai in her other hand, holding one hand in front of her, the other pointed behind her. The rustling continued until a squirrel jumped out and darted down the road. She released her breath and shook her head. _Just a squirrel_.

_**Cha! Be scared, damn overgrown rat! Let's skin it!**_

_When did you become so sadistic_?

Inner Sakura looked away and whistled. _**I don't know what you're talking about**_.

The rosette ninja shook her head and continued down the road. It would be so easy to just add a little chakra and speed up, but she knew better; it wouldn't help if she was attacked.

It was just as she pocketed her kunai that her reflexes screamed for her to jump. Sakura looked behind her to find a kunai embedded in the tree trunk. _Damn!_ Quickly, she scanned her area to find herself surrounded by at least 15 Sound ninja. One of them was forming hand signs. _Genjutsu_, Sakura concluded, quickly canceling it and charging at the closest opponent. With accuracy that could challenge Tenten, Sakura threw kunai and 3 of the Sound goons, only to have them disappear with a poof. _Clones_. They were about as skilled as Naruto was after he graduated from the academy.

They were lazy about their weapons, wielding them like little children would; Sakura had seen five-year-olds who could throw shuriken better. She dodged the assault easily, dashing up a tree and activating a genjutsu of her own. The remaining ninja turned on each other once it took effect, slashing at each other until one by one, they all fell to the floor, near death.

_Is that all?_ The medic ninja hopped to the floor, looking around uncertainly before spinning around and sending a chakra-infused punch to meet the cheekbones and the Sound bastard that had decided to creep up behind her. He jerked backwards, flipping back and landing lightly on his feet a few yards away. Almost immediately, Sakura launched herself at him, not giving him a chance to get back into position. Her punches, still infused with chakra, were easily dodged, save the last, which he blocked. The impact kept him off-guard long enough for her to run a kunai through his neck.

There were two more behind her. Sakura sent a sweeping kick in their direction to make sure they kept their distance. It was suicidal to keep fighting, but she had no other choice. There was no backup coming, and to run away would be pointless. These two were on a completely different level than the original fifteen ninja she had found. Almost…

_ANBU level_, Sakura observed, dodging a punch and leaping into the air. The genjutsu from earlier had taken a lot out of her – more than she expected. The second Sound ninja dropped to the ground, swept her legs out from under her. Sakura fell to the ground harshly, allowing the first Sound ninja to punch her stomach, knocking the wind out of her. She tried to roll around, but they had her pinned down in an instant. There was a smash of gray and black as they hit her again.

The safety of the scroll was what she was worried about. She hadn't expected to win with the strength she had left. In the back of her mind was a jutsu Shizune had taught her not too long ago. Sakura knew she had enough chakra to send the scroll back home. If she did, there was no chance of her escaping.

Not like there was a chance of her escaping like this, even when they really weren't doing anything but happily gloating about how they one. Some victory. It took three Sound ANBU just to get her when one Konoha ANBU could have easily finished the job in record time.

Mission in mind, Sakura quickly began the hand signs for the jutsu, making sure not to get caught by the moron who was trying to crush her ribs by sitting on top of her. It was already difficult to execute the signs while standing; Fatty here made it even more difficult.

She managed to complete the signs nevertheless, and her pack seemed a lot less flat. The scroll was safe; she gave into her body's demand for rest.

"Let's take her to Orochimaru. Maybe we'll get a chance with her, too…"

"Moron. Don't you know who she is? Kabuto needed help in the infirmary, and she's the best medic around…"

Yes, rest was a good idea after that conversation. Her eyes slipped shut and her ears drowned out the stupidity that was their laughter.


	3. Coffin of Glass and Blood

Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto. Original five chapters by** won't be the Victim**

**Mature content Warning!**

_Contains Multi. rape and abuse._ If you don't like this kind of stuff don't read it. Rape is a serious crime, and it's not something funny to read or go through. So please read at your own risk.

A/N – This entire chapter is a Flashback.

**Chapter 3**

_

* * *

_

There was a strange sound wafting on the stuffy air of a small stone room. Who the hell breaks their back to capture somebody, and lines their cage with glass? To hold their power, like a quiet finch; tar-covered and hunched, softly I bend over and murmur, encouragement to myself. 'I will not break. The scroll is safe.'

I bend as a reed in the flow of a mighty wind that crushes my chests and snaps my legs. I hold my liquid heart between cupped hands, as fleshy sieves. Mercury tears slide down the plateau of my cheek as I understand, I undergo I burn, I sizzle. Through the abusive torture I am going through day by day, I understand that the snake is trying to break me. Trying to get me to do his will, like a puppet?

Am I just so? Inside my gem box, is there an emerald? A sparkling stone, turned up from earth – or coal, that yields no shine? Will I make it back home to see my friends again? Or will I let myself be broken? Will I lose my shine and be turned into a piece of coal?

I may be terrified. But I won't let _HIM_ win. Let my rough edges split the yolks of rotten eggs. As I surface from the depths, of this hell made by Orichimaru. Through quagmire, the muck; my vermilion sludge – disregard, my broken bones that I cannot heal, my innocence I can't get back. I'll make it out alive, and when I go back home I'm taking somebody with me.

Startled out of my epiphany, I sit in a hunched over passion listing. It started out as a gentle rhythmic tapping, rubber against stone. Almost timid at first, then it gathered courage to keep up with the beat of an unheard song. It wasn't long before the hoarse sound of humming and faint lyrics accompanied the pace set by the black boot upon the floor. This is the first noise I've heard that didn't deal with me screaming and or breaking of my bones.

It was nice. But all too suddenly the sounds stopped as the unheard song died, a sound of approval erupted from beyond my coffin. I listen to see if the faceless voice will continue in his singing, and he did. He sang quietly with an unheard song, his voice wasn't great, but it was nice. It sounded familiar, like someone I know. Before I got to analyze that thought any longer I fell into my ever-comforting darkness. At least he knew how to hold the tune.

* * *

I awake, prematurely sent into a blind panic and am suddenly trying to stand to fight the bastards that have been given the privileges of playing with me today. A foot thudding on scrambled gravel invades my eardrums, along with occasional curses and invitations to slow down, from the leader. The invitations were needless; it had been years since any of these men have had _fun_. In a matter of seconds the door to my cell is opened. A stitch appears in my side, my vision blurs, sweat is running down my forehead and arms, and I can hear my own breathing over the group of eight or ten sound ninjas.

Inevitably, I end up on the blood and glass covered floor. All too soon, there are hands and arms all over me.

_Please, Stop_. I want to say that so badly. But my pride won't let them have the satisfaction of my pleas. I know it won't do any good; in fact it just makes it worse. I learned that the first time I was forced into coming down this path.

Somewhere between the third or fourth rough male organ being forced between my legs, I slip out of consciousness. That isn't precisely the term, however. I am conscious, but not aware. I can feel a hard backhand to the face. I arch my back and give a silent scream as I realize my hands were nailed to the wooden post in my cell, and any movement will strain my flesh against the iron spikes. My mind imagined the ropes, it seems. These metal tethers are the only thing stopping me.

I refuse to cry. I should have seen this coming. Sound's fascination with bondage had grown over the past month, starting with lace ties and name calling and progressing to fuzzy handcuffs and spanking and then to tight ropes and whipping, slapping, brutal biting and the ever-present backhand. Afterwards they would rip the ropes off so that I would grimace if I brushed anything on the tender burns on my wrists and ankles.

And now this. It is always like this – Orichimaru's treatment. It starts small and works up. His daily abuse: he started off easy because he thinks me weak; now he's gotten more sadistic.

And now this. Fuck. This.

I see that the leader is wearing a long black robe over his body, and nothing else, based on the presence of the threatening bulge in the middle. He sees me looking and smiles.

"Get ready, Kohana bitch." The robe is soon on the ground. He grabs my ankles and shoves himself in.

During the four hours of abuse, they use some of Orichimaru's favorite techniques, limiting themselves only with their imagination. They have a tiny whip for when I cry out, which I do (at first) only when feeling my hands strain at the nails. There are soon inch long gashes in the palms from all the sudden, jerky movements. They put tape over my eyes, completely blocking out the already dark cell. When I scream louder they hold a lighter to my nipples, and then viciously bite at them. They shove safety pins through the skin around my hips and tugs at them during there thrusts. All the while they mutter threats in my ear, asking me what is stopping them from killing me right now, from coming and then choking me out right here, but I know they can't kill me; Orichimaru needs me. Some reason to live.

After they finish, one strips the tape off and then simply leaves.

I think it would have been better if they had left the tape on. It is almost pitch black now, and my mind is creating images in the shadows that may or may not have been there. At the start of hour one, my breath is ragged and quick. I feel something skitter across my ankles, wet and furry. When I scream it doubles back and bites me, hard. The blood that is now probably infected joins the already dry traces on the ground below me. The safety pins are hanging open on my hips, impossible to remove. My breasts ache from the fire and the biting.

And of course there are the nails. Before they left, Kabuto had pried them halfway out to create an illusion of relief. At the start of hour three, I jerk forward, thinking I am free and sure they are gone. The nails go from resting in the middle of my palms to jutting all the way to just below the start of my fingers with a terrifying ripping sound. Out of the corner of my eye, I see something move. This makes me unconsciously move again and tug on the nails, though they do not progress any further down my palm.

After a long while, maybe six hours later, I abandon hope and begin to shriek into the night.

"FUCK!" I hear what sounds like a human snicker. Impossible. What human being can stand by and laugh as a defenseless woman lies naked and nailed to a post in a cell. Ok stupid question. Sound ninja. That's who can laugh as a women lies beaten and bloody.

"FUCK OFF ASSHOLE!" I call again.

Another snicker.

And I know the answer to my question.

He comes to me, stumbling out of the shadows, stifling girlish giggles spawned at my expense. This is not the first time Orochimaru came to me in similar situation, but the first time he's revealed himself before "rescuing" me. Usually he makes with the drugs or his fist and I wake up with a large lump on my head, all healed by his man whore Kabuto.

I look at him. He has the robe on, but the sides flap up as he walks and I see the white snake is sleeping. He must have been getting off on my pain by himself. I thank God there will be no more of that for a few hours.

He has a hammer. I close my eyes and brace myself as he recklessly pries out the iron nails. I nearly faint as I see the size of them. My hands are screaming but I myself make no sound. He slaps me for my behavior, grabs my right palm, squeezes, hauls me to my feet, and leads me to another room.

I always wondered why Sasuke never hears my rare screams, or sees me walking down the sound hallways naked and bloody. I'm closer to him than I've been in years, and yet we're so far apart. How cliché.

"I can stop this at any time," he says, and I can almost believe despite how many times this has happened. "All you have to do is say you'll heal my arms. Then you're more than free to go back your village." I don't know why but I know what he tells me is true; he'll let me go after. Then he'll come and destroy all of Konoha.

Heal his arms after knowing that? I don't think so. What, did he suffer severe abuse as a child? Is that why he's such a sadistic killing bastard?


	4. Room of Blood

Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto. Original five chapters by** won't be the Victim**

A/N- This entire chapter is a flashback.

**Chapter 4**

_

* * *

_

Three months in this hell. Sitting in a destroyed room alone. My blood is old and sticking to all areas in my own little piece of hell. The blood makes the room darker and colder than it really is. It's freezing, cold to the bone. I think back to what happened a few hours ago. Bastard. Fucking bastard.

I never knew one person could ruin me. His kindness was all I could see. Even if he had, an odd way of showing it. Okay he never showed _kindness_. It was more of a tough love, type of thing. Granted someone who cared about you wouldn't call you _weak, pathetic, _and any other degrading thing you can think of….okay forget about that caring and kindness crap. Now I'm imprisoned in the dark room covered in MY blood with silent tears running down my face, as my body is moving in silent sobs.

_Flashback in a Flashback_

He's leaning against the stone wall that is no longer cold, for it is bathed in the warmth of my blood. Jackass. Is the only way I can describe the man that just got done abusing me for…what was it five? Six? Hours. Oh well it all becomes the same after awhile.

Hope is the only thing I have. Sealed with hope. My life on the scarlet ground has been tattered and tainted with lies and truths. I hear rattling of my cell door open. As eyes raise and brows flare, my mouth upturned, my heart flutters.

I can't believe it.

Ninety-two days in here, and never running into Orochimaru next vessel. And _now_, while I'm covered head to toe in grimy _stuff_, and the color ruby, he decides to show up, his gaze penetrating as my soul calls out for his help.

Crimson and charcoal is all I can see after the door is shut and the thing that is foreign to me formally known as light is taken away. Even without the light I know he is glaring. But when doesn't he glare at something?

"Sakura," he sneers at me in a tone only to be identified as disappointment. Disappointment at my being captured. Disappointment at me being weak. And probably at existing. "I always knew you were weak, but I never thought you were so weak to be captured by two Anbu. And here Orochimaru told me you've become stronger, and was trained by the slug sanin. Pathetic."

He's better at degrading me than when we were thirteen. But I won't let him know how much his words hurt me. No. Not this time. I won't let him see that him standing there hurts me more then every thing I went through over the past three months in sound. Him seeing me like this, naked, beaten, bleeding, tired, and starving. He stands there glaring. Like NOTHING is wrong with this picture. His teammate, his friend that stated her undying love for him so long ago, sitting in a room covered in her BLOOD leaning in said blood NAKED! What. The. Hell. I think the Uchiha needs his eyes checked. Maybe the sharingan have been deteriorating his eyes. Here I thought they were supposed to help him see better.

"I don't see how someone so weak could heal Orochimaru's arms." He continues to degrade everything I've worked hard on. Ass. Handsome ass, but nevertheless an ass. "The dobe would be more helpful then you." he scoffs. Jeez that makes me feel good.

"Oh well, not my arms that need to be healed. So Sa-ku-ra. Are you going to heal Orochimaru's arms? Or do I need to send some more people in to persuade you?"

Stop! Back up! Does HE need to send some more people in?!

"Y-y-you k-knew I w-was h-h-here all along?" my voice cracking from fighting off the on salt of tears that are begging to come out. He knew the whole time I was here and he did nothing to help me! I love him. I told him I love him…too many times to count. Granted he never shared my feelings and told me so…too many times to count. But still I meant nothing to him. Nothing! My proclamations of love and friendship meant nothing to him. Nothing!

A smirk is the only answer I get from the onyx-eyed man in front of me. And it's all the answer I need.

Lowering my head waiting for him to leave. But minutes pass and he hasn't yet. I feel his glare get harder to the point of causing me physical pain. I hear the faint sound of grinding teeth. Then it hits me. He's waiting for my answer. Of course my answer will stay the same no matter the times asked. He knows this, I know this, everybody fucking knows this. I just want him to leave so I can cry and sob freely.

Bringing my head out of its bowed position. I glare at him and speak with as much malice and hate as I can. "Fuck you and your _Master,_ Uchiha." His expression does not change. As he turns on his heel and struts out like he's the shit. He's not the shit just full of shit. I stare at the spot he was standing, but he's no more than a ghost, hardly ever there at all.

Once he's gone and the picture is imprinted in my mind forever, I bow my head and let the tears I've been holding back since seeing him in the doorway to my tomb of rape and death flow. Closing my eyes and leaving the demons rampant, plaguing my mind with strife. I can see charcoal and chrome.

These are the colors that are my life.

_End flashback in flash back_

I can't take it anymore. Lying on my side with silent sobs breaking through my already beaten body. I can still see his face that cruel smirk, his dark eyes that glared at me with hate and something akin to amusement. Sasuke-kun. Yet even after I know he let those men beat, rape, and torture me, I still love him.

How? _Why_?

I can't find the answers to any of these questions or the other thousand I want to ask. All I know is, I lost hope the minute I knew Sasuke was helping Orochimaru try and break me. Congratulations! You bastards have succeeded! Tell them what they've won…nothing.

But I've lost my will to live.

* * *

_REGULAR POV_

He walked out of Sakura's cell, knowing full well that he hadn't won. Why the hell did she have to be so damn stubborn? After all the torture, physical and emotional, that they had put her through, why wouldn't she just give up? All she had to do was heal Orochimaru's arms, then he could heal her and she could go back home.

Then they would attack Konoha and she would die with her family and friends instead of this dump.

With an irritated sigh, he dropped the jutsu and headed out to the training field to see how everyone was progressing. It was a beautiful day outside; poor girl was too stubborn to see what she was missing. He chuckled darkly. _That aside_, he thought, strolling towards Sasuke. _It's time to see how Orochimaru-sama's next vessel is doing_.


	5. Dream or Nightmare

Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto. Original five chapters by** won't be the Victim**

**Chapter 5**

_

* * *

Konoha, present time_: 

Naruto slammed a fist into the wall. Three months.

It had been fucking _three months_. He tried to keep his hopes up with ideas of Sasuke protecting her. They had been teammates after all.

_Teammates…before he left us, before he tried to kill us_. _But – but…she announced her love for him and still helped him when he was hurt! That's gotta count for something! Argh, but he always put her down saying she was annoying and weak_. Naruto shot a fist into the air.

"TEME!" he screamed aloud for as long as he could, ignoring the looks he received from everyone else.

_Teme, you _have _to keep her safe_. Naruto nodded. "He will. After all, if I took a picture of the way he looked at her those times and showed them to Sakura, even _she'd_ be convinced he really _did_ like her." He folded his arms and nodded confidently. _Even if I can't go because Baa-san won't let me, Sasuke, I know you'll keep her safe_.

He walked away from the Hokage tower, still wondering why Tsunade hadn't sent anyone to search for Sakura. Three months, and not one search party.

_Maybe she knows Sasuke-teme'll bring Sakura-chan back_. _Damn it, teme…keep her safe_.

_Or I won't hesitate to kill you_.

_

* * *

_

I'm bound yet promised, crazed but still sane. After Sasuke came to me last week the torture and rape has gotten more brutal. I guess he wasn't kidding when he said he knew and would have more people to come and persuade me. But the only thing they've got me to do is screaming till I lose my voice. But that alone is seen as an accomplishment it means I'm one step closer to the edge, even after I take two steps back.

I knew in my heart I could not do this again. All this pain is killing me. Not the physical pain, but the pain of knowing Sasuke doesn't give a damn about me or anybody.

I closed my eyes and wished to dream. I want to dream when I finally pass out from the abuse and fatigue, but I can't they control my dreams either. My dreams are of murder, rape, and blood. And that's the nice dreams; my nightmares are another thing entirely.

I swallowed down the angry screams I know that will come out later tonight as I watch four men come into the room. I know what will happen and the worst part is so do they. They know I can't fight back with my chakra sealed, and broken body. They will come in and taunt me hold me down and beat me. Tell me lies, tell me that my family and friends are dead, that Konoha has been destroyed. They will chain me down and rape my body, mind and soul. They will tell me to take it like the Konoha whore I rightfully am. They'll spit and laugh as I scream. Then they'll leave me to my nightmares and dreams as they leave my tomb of rape and decay.

The choice was made, I couldn't lie, and Sasuke captured me within his eyes... Every fantasy, I ever wished too see all revolved around his mystery. I knew that Sasuke could never love me I never expected that he would. As I watch him enter my cell and stare at me.

Ha! He looks like he's never seen me like this before. He's standing there like a deer in the headlights of an on coming truck. Eyes wide, mouth slight open as a small gasp escapes, sharingan spinning. Wait! What? His sharingan – but that usually acts up when he's pissed of ready to fight. Maybe he came to kill me? That's got to be it.

What a way to die, killed by the man you love.

The chains warmed upon my arms. I can still fell the blood come out of my body. I prayed he'd never cause me harm that he would love me as I professed to him and never leave my heart to guess... I hear footsteps running towards me as my world goes dark I feel strong arms catch me.

* * *

_Sasuke's POV_

_I stood breathless under the pale moonlight, watching in a daze as petal pink hair shimmered in the moonbeams kissed with an unearthly glow. I stand there frozen in time as I watched_.

_She danced, swirling, spinning, hopping. With a joyous smile–playing over her delicate features. So sweet and pure, shining brighter than the heavens_.

_For a minute, a moment, a split second of instance I was captured by a glistening something. The glistening of those unyielding emerald eyes… Hypnotized by their life. Hypnotized by _her_ life_. _I held my hand out as she spun; trying to catch the one thing in the world I've ever found to be pure. As if downy, her hair brushed against my palm, ripples of contentment tingled down my spine-into my very essence_.

_That is when she stopped, her hair still spinning around her-lost in its own time. Its own moment of ecstasy_. _Then finally it settled – cascading past her shoulders, back, and her face. As though the world was unworthy of such being, but as she brushed the hair from her face, I was lost. Lost in the deep green pools of her eyes. She held her hand out as my head spun. I shut my eyes. How could this be? Am I worthy?_

_Her fingers began their dance upon my cheek. Cold was her touch. I moved my hand over hers_ – _and that is when I realized my flesh, moved over cold hands like those of the dead. My eyes opened to crimson. It was everywhere; the angle with pink hair was covered in her own blood. Wounds covered her body. Her now naked body was missing pieces of flesh; her hair was mattered in blood and come, as is her body. I can see chains around her suffocating her so she can dance no more. She is no longer free. But none of that mattered as I looked into her eyes_.

I sat up in bed panting like I just got done training for three days straight. A bead of cold sweat trickled from my brow. That nightmare- that snuck into my sleep for the past three months. I always wake up to the same image imprinted in my mind for the rest of the day. Of a girl I left behind with the most dead soulless eyes I've ever seen. It's like looking for her soul but she no longer has one someone stole everything she had.

I don't understand why I've been dreaming of someone I care nothing about…okay that's a lie but nobody has to know that but me. The way she is in the dream every night, always beaten and bloody, just not always in the same place. Sometimes I see her in Konoha or on a lake; it all depends on how my day goes. It's like she's trying to send me a message that I can't decipher. On the days I'm with Orochimaru she cries in my dreams, no sound, just soundless tears that run down her face the whole time I sleep.

I decided to get up and start my day I know I won't be able to fall asleep with her eyes haunting me. I get up and go to the shower connected to my room.

I can't say Orochimaru doesn't treat me well; he's just creepy. As soon as I've learned all I can from the snake I'll kill him, and then I'll kill my brother.

My room at Sound is quite large with black marble floors. The walls are a dark blue and sliver. My large king size bed in the middle of the room is covered in silk sheets that are also blue and sliver. The door to the left of the room leads to my own bathroom. It's filled with all the necessities. Not that I need all of this, but Orochimaru wants his next body to be comfortable.

After I shower and _try_ to wash away the nightmare of the pink haired girl, I get dressed in my training clothes and hit the dojo to wait for the snake to find me to teach me whatever I have yet to learn.

After training for five hours straight Orochimaru sill hasn't shown up. I look and the sun to determine the time it seems to be about noon. No wait – I think I've been out here longer than five hours. I go into the kitchen to find something edible, but once again I have to settle for instant ramen. I'm starting to sound like Naruto, always eating this stuff. Not my fault nobody in this place knows how to cook. Soon, you'll find I'll be saying, "Dattebayo!" after every sentence, or even better, "Believe it!" Hell no.

After I eat I head outside to beat somebody up. Nobody has yet beaten me in a match. So I really can't call it sparring if nobody is a match for me and I just beat them into a bloody mass of skin and bones. I train till dark and decide I've had enough today.

Walking down the hallway I see Orochimaru come out of a room, blood all over him. He looks over at me and gives me one of those creepy pedophile smiles. I feel myself shiver on the inside, but on the outside I'm as stoic as ever, if not more so. After he gives me that smile he makes a hand to motion me into the room he just left covered in blood and walks away. I knew he was creepy but that was just weird even for him.

Curiosity at its peak, I look into the room. Slowly sliding the door open, only to find the object of my nightmares. A tiny gasp escapes my mouth – something that shouldn't happen to any Uchiha – my eyes go wide.

There sitting in front of me hunched over the wall is a bleeding and naked Sakura Haruno, how she is I my nightmares, chained and bloody. She…how the…why the hell is she here? Just as I go to voice all of my questions I watch as her body starts to sway. I run over and grab her before she falls. Careful of her wounds, I pick her up and leave this room that smells of blood and sex.

I want answers and I'm going to get them. Orochimaru is going to die soon.


	6. Out of Hell

Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto.

**Chapter 6**

* * *

He gently placed her in the showers, making sure they were mild of temperature and pressure. Her once smooth skin, unmarred by anything, was now covered and caked in dry blood. Sasuke looked at the dirty tangled mass of pink hair.

He was a boy. He didn't have a brush, much less a comb (the last one he snapped in half after learning _another_ absolutely pointless jutsu from Orochimaru. The stupid snake man really had nothing to teach him). Reluctantly, he smoothed it back a little, then shook his head. He knew how much she adored her hair.

"Forgive me, Sakura."

A few minutes later, messy pink locks joined the flakes of blood on the floor of the shower stall. Sasuke was at the side, gently massaging her scalp with shampoo, pulling her hair back and down, cleansing it of all grime until it was back to its normal cherry blossom pink.

The water had helped rinse most of her cuts, but he didn't know where to start. Sasuke rinsed her hair, his eyes darting from her hair to her body. There were cuts everywhere. She was so…

_How long?_ The curse seal was burning at the base of his neck, but he willed it back. _How long did you suffer, Sakura?_ He let out an angry breath and smoothed back her hair.

That left the cuts.

God, oh God, he couldn't believe it. Why _her_? Of all people, why _her?_ Sasuke cupped her cheek with a hand, stroking it gently, washing the grime and dirt from her face. She wasn't dead, but that was as far as _his_ medic skills went.

He hadn't heard a word of her or anyone from Konoha since he sought Orochimaru out. There were times when he'd try to eavesdrop on conversations between Kabuto and Orochimaru – usually they were about some medic under the apprenticeship of Tsunade. And now Sakura…

Unbeknownst to himself, he was singing softly now, the only song he knew or heard, besides some stupid ramen song Naruto had made up once. A soft lullaby, gentle enough to put him to sleep when he was little, strong enough to make him believe his mother was the strongest woman in the world. Sakura seemed to react to the words, stirring a little, her eyes fluttering open, but not enough so she would look at him.

"Sakura, open your eyes…" he whispered, staring at her, wide-eyed. A small miracle would be enough. Just a few words, so he would know whom to kill. They would all be dead soon, anyway. He just had to make sure who to torture the longest…

His hands fell on hers, and he almost cried out. They were bloodied so that it was a miracle she hadn't died from blood loss.

Her breathing was scratchy, and she sat up all of the sudden, hands braced at her side, palms pressing into the floor, as she leaned forward and coughed, spitting out blood. Sasuke placed a hand on her back, gently stroking it, trying not to peel at the scabs. She turned to him weakly, eyes opening slowly, then quickly widening, as if in fear. He stared back in confusion.

"Why…?" Sakura croaked, pushing his arm away. He could tell it was taking all her energy just to speak.

"Who did this to you, Sakura?"

She looked at him in wonder and awe before shaking her head. "I don't understand. You were –" Sakura smiled slightly, and Sasuke swore his heart burst. "A dream," she whispered to herself. "I'm sorry, Sasuke…" _It's a dream_, she told herself, her final happiness before she died. She remembered so well, that time during the Chunin exams, seeing Sasuke covered in the black swirls of the curse mark, asking her the same question. _I'm sorry…I was so weak_.

"Don't be," he snarled, glaring at her. "Who did this to you, Sakura?"

"They…shouldn't it be obvious?"

"Who _specifically?_"

She shook her head – it hurt to do so. She felt like shit still, even as the water was washing away the grime that covered her. And Sasuke, sweet Sasuke, was here in her dream, trying to rescue her, just as he had done so long ago. "There were…lots of them. Orochimaru…other people…"

"What…did they do…to you?" he asked, trying to hold her gaze. God, it was so hard to talk to her, seeing her like this, the blood still sticking to her body, her eyes…

Dead. They were a dead shade of jade. No longer glimmering, no longer laughing with excitement. Those eyes that had given him hope when he was younger, even though he had dismissed her. Those eyes he loved. They had no soul.

The bastard had taken away _everything_. Sasuke rose to his feet, shaking in fury. "I'll _kill_ him," he swore, hands fisting up. "I swear, Sakura, I'll _kill_ him."

"I need…to heal myself," Sakura whispered faintly, looking up at him. She could imagine that at this time, Inner Sakura would be screaming for Sasuke to stop be a dunderhead and hurry up and undo the chakra seal. But she was too weak. Inner Sakura was too weak. And it was a dream. Why was she bothering?

He nodded. "He sealed your chakra?" Sasuke murmured, bending down beside her again to quickly do the necessary hand signs to execute the jutsu. "This should do it," he whispered, pressing a finger to her forehead with a small smile. _Like Itachi used to do_.

The smile quickly faded. _Orochimaru first_. Sasuke rose to his feet. "Stay here," he ordered. He turned around and stopped, remembering she had nothing to wear. "You can wear my clothes…they might be a bit…large for you." He started towards the dresser.

She nodded, immediately starting on healing her wounds.

"No one will come in to my room," Sasuke added, placing a few clothes on his bed. "You'll be safe here. Don't say a word if anyone knocks. They won't come in. I've tried it before. Just in case, there's enough space under the bed."

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura whispered, looking up at him. "Where…" Inner Sakura was already back on her feet and screaming. _**HELL NO DON'T GO! WE'RE NOT THROUGH WITH YOU YET!**_

Sasuke shot her an emotionless glance. "I'll be back." He disappeared with a slam of the door.

Sakura returned to tending her wounds. Three months worth of wounds were crying for healing. Three months of resisting torture made her body cry for a long nap. Under the shower, a faint chakra glow emitted from her hands, warm water washing away the pain of three months…

…even if it was all a dream.

* * *

Behind him were piles of dead Sound ninja, all stupid enough to cross his path. Most of the ANBU were dead, virtually everyone else was too. And now…

Kabuto pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose as he glanced at Sasuke, a kunai spinning in one hand. "And what's with the sudden change of heart?"

No words. Just death. It was easy with the speed and agility he possessed. Kabuto was dead the next second, a kunai through his neck, a katana through his stomach. And then there was Orochimaru to deal with…stupid snake man. Sasuke swiftly turned to the source of the girlish laughing, frowning at the leering face of his pedophilic teacher.

"I see…you've done well, Sasuke."

"How long?" He scrunched up his face, kept his sharingan activated as the tongue came out. "How long did you have Sakura in that room?" One hand was outstretched towards the wall, the other removed the katana from Kabuto's dead form and pointed it towards the Sannin. _This should be enough distance for the chidori_, Sasuke reasoned, taking a stance.

Orochimaru stared at him, smiling serenely. "Now you're out to kill me, eh? Wouldn't you like to know what happened to your precious flower in the three months she was my guest?"

"SHUT UP!" Sasuke screamed, charging forward, chidori chirping in his hand. "I'll _kill_ you, you _bastard!_"

The Sannin hit the chidori straight on, but the body collapsed into mud. Sasuke whirled around, swinging his katana around to meet Orochimaru's own. "Damn you…"

"I'll tell you what happened anyway," the snake Sannin leered, ignoring the gash at his side that Sasuke created. "I…"

A giant shuriken interrupted him, sending him flying back, piercing his stomach – or so Sasuke thought. Instead, he reverted to his true form.

The snake was next. Sasuke stared up at the giant snake, hate filling his eyes.

_The hate you wanted me to fester towards you, Itachi, will have to wait_, the boy thought, the sharingan swirling around angrily. "Now, Orochimaru…you die." The katana pointed towards the giant snake as it split, and the pests began to swarm everywhere.

* * *

A/N- Hello…! Azure here, taking over for **won't be the Victim**. I totally doubt I can write as well as her, but I shall do my best, I swear! The original five chapters written by **won't be the Victim** have been slightly altered – not significantly. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

-Azure


	7. Truth or Lie

Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto.

**XXXXX**

Thank you: **PunkDevil95, avenged, roxnroll, Risen dreams, cluelessninja65, won't be the Victim, CeruleanRider, miroku girl15, garaXxXhinata69, xteenuh102593**

**XXXXX**

Chapter 7 Sasuke POV 

It was a mess. The room, my life, her life, our life. The pedophile snake taught me enough to reach a level around my brother, but it was pointless now. Because now Sakura was here. Because now I had just strengthened a bond that shouldn't have existed. Because even if I wanted to help her, I shouldn't have been so goddamn angry about it.

I cared for her. That much I understood. Why else would I let her wear my clothes? Why else would I let her in my room? Why would I allow her to heal herself? It would have been easy to just kill her on the spot. But that would have been a bloody cowardly murder. Sakura, bloody and near death, and me just kill her…merciful, sure, but…

…if she ended up here…no. Why? For someone like her to end up in here, to have to endure those disgusting bastards…that fucking sick mind of Orochimaru…

…for me? No, she wasn't that stupid. Even if she was, Orochimaru has many other bases after all, doesn't he? She could have just as easily ended up in one of those and been killed. But he had kept her alive, and she was here, closer to me than she had been in years. It wasn't so she could be their fuck toy…it was something else, wasn't it?

His words were still ringing in my head, and I wanted them out. That bastard…had hurt her. But the root of all this was Itachi. Because _he_ killed the clan _I_ had to suffer. _Sakura_ had to suffer. _I_ had to join up with a bastard that ended up ruining everything I wanted anyway.

I threw the door to my room open. On the bed, knees drawn up to her chest, lay Sakura, fast asleep, all healed up. She was wearing my black training outfit – it fit her well.

_No_. Now wasn't the time to think about this. Now, there would be invasions, investigations, nosy people coming in. Now I would have to take her home. Now I would…

I began stuffing all my belongings in my bag. There wasn't much – my clothes, some scrolls, money. Quickly, I slung the bag onto my back before scooping Sakura into my arms and breaking out the window.

…It was no more. Orochimaru, and his pathetic little Otogakure…would disappear forever. No dead body would be left behind.

…So the useless jutsu the pedophile taught me weren't so useless after all. I started to form the hand signs, but stopped.

No. This way, they would get the message loud and clear. Uchiha Sasuke…would soon achieve his goal. Without another word, I turned around and sped towards the nearest town.

**XXXXX**

The gray-haired man braced himself, a hand pressed against the wall for support as he took tiny steps towards the room where the bloodbath had taken place. He reached out a hand, grasping a tiny white snake in it, and bringing it up.

"Oro…chimaru-sama," he mumbled, sending the last shred of his chakra through the snake, healing it of its wounds. Healing himself had taken more chakra than he had imagined. He hadn't been sure it would even work. _We…won't lose next time_…

**XXXXX**

_Sakura POV_

The were flashes of white light everywhere, blinding me. It was heaven, it had to be. After three months of enduring death in face-to-face combat, my body finally gave in. I was safe now. I sighed happily, blinked a few more times to get used to the light that was heaven. It had been so dark in that dungeon that I had completely forgotten what light looked like.

Somewhere nearby, someone was humming a familiar tune I had heard recently. Not too well, though – like whoever had been singing while I was still alive. He barely held the tune; he cracked a few times, too. Some heaven. I mumbled that aloud.

The humming stopped. Oh, so they were sending me to hell for offending their chorus? So sue me; it was the truth, damn it. My eyes opened a bit more, but the radiance still hurt. I began wondering if I would ever get used to it – I certainly didn't think I would.

"Sakura!"

They were mocking me now. I would know that voice anywhere. That voice that I wanted so badly to hear in my dreams…that belonged to the boy I loved…the man I wanted to marry…the man I wanted to…

"Sakura…"

…but he had turned on me in the end, hadn't he? So why the fuck was heaven mocking me? Oh, no wait – it was hell. That could be why. Three months in the hell of the snake Sannin made hell look like heaven. I smiled to myself bitterly.

There was silence now, and I blinked a few more times to find the stoic face of Sasuke looked down at me, cold, emotionless, as handsome as ever. I felt an urge to kiss him, to cry, to force him to wrap his arms around me and hug me tight and tell me he missed me. Even if it was all a lie, I would have loved it, every little bit of it. But no, it couldn't happen. Instead, I sat up, eyes wide as I looked at him, and then me, and the bed we sat on.

No. No, never. Sasuke called me annoying, weak, he asked if he had to send more people in to make me heal Orochimaru's arms, but we were here on the same bed, and…

"What…happened?" I asked weakly. My throat was dry; it hurt so much from all the screaming I had done. My voice was softer than I remembered.

He stared at me quietly for some time before slowly looking over his shoulder and at the clock that was situated on the wall. "I killed them."

A small sound of shock escaped me. Sasuke…who had been searching for power to kill _that_ someone…had killed them, instead. Sasuke…who had threatened to send in more people to hurt me…had killed them, instead. A laugh escaped me, and I stared at him disbelievingly.

"Listen to me, Sasuke," I hissed, scooting away from him slightly. "Nice try. But I'm _not_ healing that Snake bastard's arms, you understand?"

"I never asked you to."

"Never? Amnesia, maybe? Did you hit your head too many times while training with him?" I sneered. "You just came into my cell a week ago –"

He shook his head. "You're _annoying_," Sasuke sighed, looking up at the ceiling, onyx orbs holding…was that _emotion_ I saw? "I never saw you until three days ago. I think you said something about it being a dream."

The memories – stories – weren't adding up. Which Sasuke to trust? The one whose onyx eyes were misting up, who refused to look at me? Or the one who laughed cruelly at me, left me in my moment of weakness without a care in the world?

He looked at me suddenly, curiously, as if examining me. "You cured yourself," Sasuke murmured. "Are you the one they were talking about?"

"Talking about?" I repeated dumbly.

"Never mind. Let's go. I need to hurry up and get you back to Konoha so I can find someone else to train me," he muttered, and for some reason, I wanted to believe him. That he never saw me until three days ago, that he killed Orochimaru and – and gave me his clothes to wear…I wanted to believe it all. Because that Sasuke had been too content to see me bloodied and hurt. Because Sasuke would have never wanted that…would he?

My hand reached out to him, grazing the skin of his cheek, falling onto his shoulder, using him as leverage to pull myself up. He felt so real, so soft, so _true_…I couldn't _not_ believe him. Even if it meant living in a dream, I would, just to be with this Sasuke I had been longing to see.

He didn't move at all, sat stiffly as I meandered my arms around his body, pulled myself close to him, hoping to get some reaction out of myself, out of me…but there was nothing. I looked up at him, staring into those onyx eyes, recalling those blood-red sharingan that laughed at me before.

His eyes never laughed. Was that memory of mine a mistake…? Had I, desperately, dreamed up a Sasuke who would shun me, throw me aside in his search for power? Was that supposed to make me feel better? I couldn't be sure, I didn't want to know. If this was Sasuke, then all was well in the world around me. After all, since when did the world revolve around me? I pulled away, looked at Sasuke, examining him. His raven hair had once shone blue in the sun, stuck up in the back like cement. Now, his hair had faded into a gray sheen, but it felt so soft…

He pushed my hands down, brushed some hair from my eyes before rising to his feet and placing his hands in his pockets. He hadn't changed one bit. How long…had it been? Two years? It didn't matter, though. He was by me now, he was with me…I wouldn't…

…there was something missing. Something had vanished, besides the light, besides the warmth, in the three months I spent in my prison, my hell. A memory? A thought? A feeling…? An emotion…

Inner Sakura didn't seem to be so active, either. If anything, since I had healed that day, she had vanished into nothing, or so I felt.

He was looking at me again, somewhat worried. "Sakura…are you okay?" he asked softly.

It was all wrong. It was a lie, a genjutsu or something. This illusion…was killing me. If he was Sasuke, why wasn't I throwing myself at him, laughing, crying, saying his name…

…his name.

"S-Sasuke," I mumbled weakly, looking at my hands in horror. It was all wrong, but it was so right. This Sasuke, _my_ Sasuke…was here. "Sasuke," I tried again, looking up at him, eyes wide. I couldn't even cry anymore.

My tears were dried up, my laughter was gone. My emotions had fled me, and I had become a butterfly without wings.

**XXXXX**

It was frightening him, to hear her say his name over and over again, staring at him with those soulless jade eyes that once held her very life – and his. Sasuke stepped towards her, bent down, pressed a finger to her lips.

"…We need to get you home," he whispered, ignoring his misting eyes. She was like one of those dolls, a fixed smile on their small lips, staring at you without shutting her eyes. Only Sakura wasn't smiling, and Sakura's lips were…inviting. Sasuke swallowed and looked away, ignoring the feeling boiling in his stomach.

Killing Orochimaru wasn't enough. It was wrong, what Konoha had done. Not sending anyone for her, leaving her to fend for herself…if he hadn't found her, how long would it have been until she died from abuse, or until she killed herself? Even Sakura wasn't _that_ stupid – no matter how much she believed in her home village, there would have been a point where even _she_ gave up on them, on her reason for living.

How had she been captured? He wanted to ask her so many things. Sasuke forced himself to keep quiet as he took his bag and slung it onto his back. "Come on…we need to get moving."

She slipped out of the bed, staring at the outfit she wore for a moment before looking at him. "Is it really okay?" Sakura whispered, clutching some of the cloth at her chest and looking at him. Normally, she would have been excited, blushing, embarrassed, but grateful…so many things at once. Now, she stared at him softly, looking dead.

But he nodded, because it was the truth, and because he knew she was still trying to figure out if all this was a dream, or if he was acting in order to cover up some atrocity he might have committed in her presence.

He wanted to hold her close, breath in her scent, assure her it wasn't a dream, tell her it was reality, _show_ her…make her _feel_ it…the truth, the reality, his love for her. But to do so was against his Uchiha blood, against _him_…against the Sasuke she knew, whom she gave her unconditional love to.

Sasuke turned around, trying to ignore the urge to take her hand in his and run outside with her, run away with her, start their lives again. He held the door open, waiting until she walked outside before following her.

If only he had known this would happen…would he have gone to Orochimaru in search of power? Or would he have lived festering hate for his brother with Sakura pining away for him? He didn't know anymore.

Sasuke watched Sakura slowly walk down the stairs and wait for him at the bottom, cocking her head to the side when he stared at her, immobile.

"Sasuke," she whispered, and he suddenly understood what was wrong, why she had kept saying his name.

He was no longer 'Sasuke-kun.'

**XXXXX**End Chapter 7**XXXXX**

**A/N** – Gyah! I'll admit the truth! I have no idea what happens between Orochimaru and Sasuke! I read wikipedia! (runs away). I really should recommence reading, but I'm super busy. Twisting around some new ideas, trying them out – but they're being slow.


	8. Want to Believe

Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto.

**XXXXX**

Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I enjoyed reading them all.

**XXXXX**

**Chapter 8**

She looked up at the sky, shielding her eyes with a hand. A straw hat fell on her head, and she turned to him, staring blankly at him. He was wearing one, too.

"I figured we might need them," Sasuke murmured, looking forward at the road. "It should take less than a week…"

"Three days…?"

"Four, possibly," he returned calmly, holding his hat down as a gust of wind blew at him.

Sakura sighed beside him, looked at her feet. "…we look like Akatsuki."

"All the better."

They kept their conversations short, instead focusing all their energy on getting home – at least that was Sakura's goal. For Sasuke, it was to deposit Sakura back in Konohagakure and find someone else who would train him. She knew this, and yet she was perfectly fine with it. He couldn't help but notice her hand finger the hem of the shirt she wore under the cloak.

Sasuke stepped forward, pushed off his foot and sped forward, Sakura inches behind him. If they could keep up this pace, they could cut down their traveling time by a day in the least, but they would rest. They _needed_ to rest. Even with the amount of chakra they might have, they _had_ to rest. He wouldn't have it any other way, because that meant a chance to see those eyes again, a chance to see that smile again. A chance to bring out the Sakura he knew.

The adrenaline was rushing through his head and he sped up, unintentionally, speeding towards the nearest tree and smashing it down with his fist. Sasuke stopped just ahead of it as it fell, looked back to watch it fall.

"Sasuke…?" Her voice was small, quiet. Afraid, but not really. Afraid for his sanity, maybe.

He stared at the broken tree, slowly tore his eyes away from it. "Sorry," he muttered, clenching and unclenching his fist. But the words still rang through his head.

**XXXXX**

She was slowing down earlier than he expected, but that was okay. It was a miscalculation on his part – after all she'd been through, of course she was tired. Sasuke motioned for her to follow him, and they pushed on, stopping at the edge of the forest.

It was thick and dense, this forest, starting Konoha, ending Oto. They stepped into the forest of forbidding trees, and immediately found the shelter they were looking for at the base of a tree. The trunk was caved out, hollow. The two ninja made their way there, taking a seat beside each other, Sasuke towards the entrance.

"Go to sleep," he commanded, and Sakura stared at him in surprise. Maybe that wasn't the best way to say it. He rolled his eyes, looked outside, staring at nothing. "I'll keep watch this time. You still need to rest." His voice was hard, edgy. He knew she would probably be frightened, still believe he was deceiving her.

What he would do to show her he wasn't.

Nevertheless, Sakura shut her eyes and, dragging her knees up, fell asleep, propped up against the side of the trunk. His eyes fell on her, and he knew he shouldn't have – someone could come by at any time and attack them – but they were on her, on her face, on her hands, placed upon her knees. Her hands had healed well, but he knew there were scars on her palms still.

A hand reached out, hesitant, softly caressing her cheek. It was soft, still. No matter what they had done to her, she was soft, beautiful, the same shell he had seen those many years ago – certainly more mature, though.

But the shell didn't matter. She had lost her soul.

He wondered how they would live. She was his humanity, the only thing that kept him from becoming the killer his brother wanted him to be. At least, she _had_ been…until now. Without her soul, without the usual Sakura he knew, could he even return to being human? Could he return to Konoha without worry?

No, probably not.

He had taken her for granted, her voice, her smiles, her touches, however rare they were. Was there any way to get her back? He didn't know…but he wanted to try. Failure was not an option.

Sasuke leaned forward, pressed his lips against her forehead, pulled away slowly, staring at her, as if she would wake up and revert back to the old Sakura he knew.

If only it were that easy.

**XXXXX**

His hands slammed on the mahogany desk, eyes burning in an intense glare. "_Why_? _Why_ won't you let me look? This is Sakura we're talking about, baa-chan! She wouldn't just run off for three months!"

"Exactly," Tsunade snapped, hazel eyes meeting Naruto's. "It's not like I like doing this either, Naruto! But I have _faith_ in Sakura – if she hasn't gotten out in these three months…" The Godaime trailed off, looked at the desk. "I can't send out a search party…it's too late. Do you have any idea how many tracker-nin I sent out when she didn't come back? Only one party returned, and just barely. Sound-nin have her, Naruto. _Sound-_nin. They _know_ who she is. I _know_ they'll keep her alive. I _know_ she won't do as they say, but that's all…I can do…"

Naruto gripped the edge of the desk tightly. "Baa-chan…don't tell me…you're counting on Sasuke…"

"What else am I supposed to do?" Tsunade whispered, burying her face in her arms. "I don't know what to do…"

"_Hokage-sama_!" The doors flew open, and a man rushed in, breathing hard, a scroll in his hand. "Otogakure has…Oto…has…"

Tsunade rose to her feet, eyes wide. "What…? What about Oto? Tell me!" she commanded, eyes narrowed on the man in alarm, fear.

"They've fallen!" the man reported, standing up straight. "Someone found Orochimaru's base – everyone was completely slaughtered."

"And Orochimaru?" Tsunade asked, swallowing.

"They're still sorting through the bodies!"

Naruto rushed forward, seized the man by his collar. "And teme! What about Sasuke-teme? And Sakura-chan?" he asked, shaking the man.

"I-I don't know!"

"_Why not_?" Naruto growled, eyes reddening slightly.

"Naruto! Put him down! He wouldn't know!" Tsunade suddenly snapped, striding forward and pulling the orange-outfitted shinobi back. "Naruto, go out and find Hatake Kakashi, Hyuuga Neji, and Nara Shikamaru."

The boy's eyes widened, pleased. "You mean –"

"Yes. Report back here as soon as you find them!" she yelled after him as he ran out of the room. _Sakura, hang on_…

**XXXXX**

The road never looked longer.

Sasuke pursed his lips, lifted his chin up as he gazed down at the road below them. A hand lifted from behind the folds of the cloak, pointed. "We'll stop there for the night." He turned to Sakura, watched her eyes follow his finger to the small town that was less than half a day's journey ahead. She must have known, because she turned to him, looking slightly upset.

"…I think we can make it a bit further."

He paused, slowly considering her words. She obviously thought he thought she was still weak, incredibly weak. The Uchiha shook his head.

"There's a festival there tonight. I thought you might want to go," he told her quietly, turning his back to the cliff. "If you don't, I suppose we could spend the night in the middle of the forest."

"…Festival…?"

The boy remained silent, eyes glued to the village. "It's your choice, Sakura."

A sigh escaped her, and she turned away. "Why not?"

Thin lips pulled into a smile. Sasuke pulled his hat down, stepped forward. "Well, let's go."

**XXXXX**

_Sakura POV_

He thinks I'm weak. No, not weak. He thinks I've been forever scarred by that fucking incident.

…_have I_? Maybe. I can't tell. I'm scared, more scared than I'll let on, because I don't know where I am, because I don't know if he's _him_.

…it still feels like a dream. Sasuke, saving me. Sasuke, of all people. The same Sasuke who left me behind on a bench, refused to stay after I cried. The same Sasuke who didn't care one whit about me even though I must have confessed indirectly to him more than a million times. That Sasuke…had saved me?

So even he's human?

Can't be. It's a dream. It has to be. And I'm afraid of letting it end, so I'm going to stay silent, I'm going to let him be with me, save me, do whatever he pleases…

If he wants to take me to this festival, so be it.

My hand reaches out for his arm, and my fingers dig into his sleeves, so I can pull myself closer to him. There's a bit of a breeze, but I feel warm beside him, I almost want to let my fangirl tendencies take over again. But in this dream, I can't. I don't want to.

I want him to see the real me, but I don't think I can get the real me back anymore. I think I hid the real me for these months, so I wouldn't give in, so I could see everyone in Konoha again.

So I could see him again.

He seems a bit startled by me so close to him, but he relaxes.

I wonder if he feels sorry for me. Or if he's still thinking about revenge. I wonder a lot about what goes through his head.

We got to the festival by midnight, when the festivities were reaching their peak. There were a few young children out, fishing for goldfish, playing those toss games where you could win stuffed animals, things like that.

He leaned toward my ear, this dream Sasuke, and whispered in it.

I looked at him, registered the words in my head. Do you want to do anything…? Yes, that was what he had asked. I looked around hesitantly, pointed to the first thing my eyes fell on: the goldfish stand. He seemed a bit surprised, but nodded, and we trudged off towards that direction, frightening the children away. Even the man at the booth looked surprised, until I told Sasuke we should take our hats off.

"We aren't Akatsuki," he muttered, "or whatever you thought we were." And then the man seemed relieved. Apparently, they weren't used to travelers. "How much for the game…?"

"Since your girlfriend is so pretty, the first five tries are free," the man said with a grin. I inclined my head for a thank you; there wasn't much to say. I wasn't…much to him.

Sasuke bent down to stare at the goldfish. "So? Which one do you want?"

They were interesting things, goldfish. Swimming around in the same circle again and again, always thinking they were in a different place, just because they couldn't remember that they had already been there. Forgetful things. It reminded me of him. I wanted them to remind me of him.

I wanted him to think once more that to him, we were the most important things in the world. That without us, without his friends…

…and in this dream, I think it was working. I pointed to the nearest goldfish, the one that seemed to be lingering around Sasuke's hand. He pressed his lips together, scooped it out of the water…

…and it broke free, falling back into the water with a splash just as the man held a bag out towards us. Sasuke, undaunted, tried again, twice more, but it broke free each time. It was a small thing, unlike the rest of the fish in there, and I think it wanted to leave, but it just couldn't.

…because something was holding it back. Invisible bonds, holding him back, just as we tried to hold Sasuke back.

We had two more tries.

Sasuke looked a bit puzzled now, but more than that, he looked irritated. "Stupid fish," he muttered, "being difficult." It was on the tip of the tongue, I know it; he wanted to mention Naruto's name.

Naruto…

…I wonder what he was doing. If he was looking for me. If he bothered to look for me. It was a cruel thought, but I couldn't help it. Three months had left me bitter. I knew they couldn't come, but I couldn't help but wish they would.

The fourth try did it. Sasuke smirked at the fish in the bag, held it out to me. "Thanks, old man," he muttered to the man at the booth.

The man winked at us. "You two have fun tonight. Don't do anything you'll regret!" And Sasuke rolled his eyes, wheeled me away.

"Do you want to do anything else?" he asked with a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

I stared at the fish, pressed a finger against the bag, and it came towards it, rapidly opening and closing its mouth. I looked up at Sasuke, and shook my head. "Let's check in for the night."

He nodded, and we walked down the street to find an inn.

Whatever it was, truth or lie, dream or reality, I wanted to keep staying in this world. That's what I wanted to think, anyway.

And even after my head hit the pillow, that's what I wanted to think.

**XXXXX**

A/N – Sorry for the long wait. I kind of got a bit stuck here and there what with school and everything. And then the chapter just wouldn't come out, because I didn't exactly know what I wanted to do with it. I think I have a better grasp of what's going on now, but I still need to work out details. So forgive me, please, if I take another year to update. Reviews are appreciated. Also, if there's anything you want to see in this story that you haven't seen, go ahead and tell me, and I'll see what I can do about it.


End file.
